


You can do it, it's okay

by iSpiritual



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Awesome Dean, Awesome Sam, F/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Mentions of OCD, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Tourette's Syndrome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 20:40:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6625408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iSpiritual/pseuds/iSpiritual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader has tourette’s syndrome but the boys are always there to help her through.</p>
<p>A/N: This is a request that I received the person who requested it would like to remain anonymous. The requested was detailed on her kind of tourrets because it can manifest in many different forms. Some of the vocal tics were included in the request as well as some of the phrases, I did so quite a bit of research for this and I hope it okay.</p>
<p>Posting this to raised awareness of Tourette’s syndrome.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You can do it, it's okay

**Author's Note:**

> Supernatural x Reader, Requests?
> 
> I’m low on prompt idea’s so I’m opening my requests!
> 
> Rules:   
> Must include pairing  
> Must include prompt  
> Smutty requests are weclome  
> No requests for fics that include: Self harming, suicide or death fics

Tourettes syndrome is a neurological condition that affects only ten percent of the population and I am one of that ten percent. My symptoms started to present themselves when I was only five years old it started with a simple clicking sound that I made with my tongue but I couldn’t stop it I just had to do it. As time went on I started to develop more symptoms; hand clapping, making squeaky noises and so on. My parents were baffled and after two long years I was finally diagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome at the age of seven.  

Now I’m twenty five years old and my tourette’s didn’t get any better if anything they got worse, soon after my sixteenth birthday I developed Coprolalia the swearing side of the syndrome, though swearing is what the syndrome is massively associated with only ten percent of tourette sufferers will actually have coprolalia - which didn’t cause me to jump for joy’s that’s for sure.

Certain words and phrases seemed to stick and became what are known as tics. Now tics are both vocal and motor, ranging from simple eye blinking to lashing out at people. Currently mine consisted of hand clapping, finger clicking, body twitches and random arm movements but they changed a lot. Vocal tics are the worst; you try hiding a sound that sounds like a puppy crying, yeah it’s not easy nor is the odd occasional scream or cussword.

Growing up wasn’t so easy the consent bullying in highschool and the looks as well as the disgusting names hurled out on the street, though I could argue that not a lot of people knew what tourettes was but that still didn’t make the pain of it any easier.

Then cue three people who seemed to understand; Bobby Singer and the Winchester brothers.

I’d known Bobby from being a kid my parents would drop me off at his home when they went off to hunt. He was the one to encourage me not to hide my tics mostly because he knew that it caused me pain to do so. Dean and Sam were a little different, Sam understood immediately but didn’t single me out he became my best friend, Dean on the other hand took a little while to adjust to my tics but that didn’t make him any less of a close friend. We started to work together on cases; I’d help Sam with research and then they’d go out to hunt.

I was kinda hard to accept at first that my tourettes kept me from hunting but it would compromise their safety and that wasn’t something that I could live with. At the moment I was working to get some information around a vamp nest; in the space of an hour I’d located two possible places where the nest could be. ‘’Hey (First) you got anything?’’ Dean asked, ‘’Fuck you! Sorry -sorry.’’ I rubbed my face in embarrassment but Dean smiled in reassurance, ‘’Yeah I got two possible nest locations.’’

‘’Quick as lighting sweetheart.’’ He winked playfully in my direction, ‘’There’s the -’’ I made a squeaking sound jerking my head back as I did, ‘’Farm located a mile outside of town and an old warehouse.’’

‘’Going to have to scope out both locations before ganking the son’s of bitches.’’ I clicked my fingers on both hands together as he spoke but he took no notice, over the years Dean had grown accustomed to my tics.

‘’Hey guys!’’ Sam announced as he shut the motel door holding a bag of food in hand, ‘’Heya Sammy.’’

‘’How’s research?’’

‘’Going, shit! - Fine! Fine!’’ I managed to force out but Sam simply chuckled as he handed me the fries I’d asked for, ‘’Sure you’re okay with just fries?’’

‘’Yeah, I’m good.’’ I nodded shoving a few into my mouth; we ate in relative silence - well if you don’t include my vocal tics - Sam put his fork down not before tapping it against the table three times, I smiled slightly.

If tourrettes wasn’t bad enough I also had OCD and anxiety my OCD consisted of doing things in three’s for example; if I was making a cup of coffee I’d have to tap the spoon three times against the cup after I’d finished stirring it. Dean clapped his hands together which in turn caused me to clap as well Dean laughed and I scowled at him. I knew that he wasn’t laughing at me in a hateful way, I encouraged the boys to laugh if I said something silly it helped in a way, took away the awkwardness.

‘’We’re going to scope out this locations, if you need us just send us a text and we’ll come straight back okay sweetheart?’’ I went to nod but instead my face scrunched up and my head painfully twitched forward. ‘’You good?’’

‘’Shit, fuck, yes! I’m good.’’ This time I successfully nodded. Dean went to pack the car, ‘’You taken your meds yet?’’

‘’Was just about to.’’ My medication consisted of anti-anxiety pills and muscle relaxers which helped somewhat. Sam pulled me in for a hug rubbing a hand down my back. ‘’We won’t be long.’’

True to their word the boys returned little over two hours after they left but quickly left again to take care of the nest. I’d preoccupied myself with music it was times like this that I wished I brought my violin, believe it or not when I played the violin my tics stopped but when I stopped they would start back up again it was a little weird. A violent tic ripped it’s way through my body causing evey muscle in my body to contract and not let go. Tic’s like these particularly happened when I was stressed out like now. I collapsed to the floor, all I could do was wait it out. When it passed I stayed on the floor curled in on myself so that the shaking would pass.

I must of fallen asleep because the next thing I knew was a very panicked Sam and Dean were shaking my shoulders hovering above me. ‘’You almost gave us a heart attack!’’

‘’S’rry’’ I slurred, ‘’You take care of those vamps?’’

‘’Ganked them all.’’ Dean smiled puffing out his chest slightly, ‘’We were thinking of heading out to the bar, wanna come?’’ I hated bars but the noisy environment drowned out my vocal tics which was alway welcoming, ‘’Sure.’’

Sam pulled me up off the floor, ‘’Sure you’re okay?’’  

‘’Yeah, I’m - fuck! - okay.’’ My muscles were a little sore from the tension but apart from that I was fine. My head started to jerk back and I cried out a little in pain; my head jerking tic was one that was painful after a while. When it stopped Sam pressed his thumbs to massage the tense muscles.

‘’You good?’’

‘’Yeah, thanks.’’ Sam beams a smile before leading me out the door and into the impala. I was banned from the front seat after an incident were a tic had made me grab hold of the steering wheel but that didn’t stop the odd occasion where I’d kick the seat.

The bar was busy but not as packed as I’d thought it would be; bars always stressed me out which made my tics worse. My throat tried to force out a sound which ended up coming out as a. ‘’Hm hm.’’ Sound as I tried to resist the urge to tic.

I didn’t drink alcohol mainly because of my medication didn’t allow me to, alcohol also made my tics worse especially my vocal tics. We sat in a booth and Dean went off to buy the drinks, I strained my body to keep a tic at bay. I can stop a tic because they start with a feeling of tension that builds up inside of me. It’s like a hot, itchy or generally unpleasant sensation you want to get rid of. The sensation increases if I try to prevent the tic, after I’ve made the movement or sound, you may feel a sense of relief until the need to tic begins again.

‘’You can do it, it’s okay.’’

‘’Fu - fu -fu.’’ I cleared my throat causing my head to jerk backwards, ‘’No. It’s not.’’

‘’There isn’t anything to be ashamed off.’’ He spoke softly, ‘’Well.’’ Cue a squeaking sound once again, ‘’You don’t have to live with this.’’ Sam frowned at me, ‘’Sorry, that was a little harsh.’’

‘’No, no. It’s fine I completely understand the frustration.’’ He ran a hand down my back which helped take away some of the tension. Since I started traveling around with the boys they’d found ways in which they can help me deal with my tics. Sam in particularly found out that if he holds my hand when we go out to get food it takes away the urge for my hand tics, though I tended to be more vocal.

Dean suggested that I hum a song because in his words; ‘’Who doesn’t do that shit?’’ It worked for a while but stopped. He returned with the drinks but I point blank refused to pick mine up knowing that the urge to throw it was a little too much.  

Sam being the understanding giant that he is moved it from my line of sight completely removing the tic all together. After a while I started to relax, Dean started on with his usual story from the past, soon enough we were all laughing away.

‘’What.’’ Dean let out a small chuckle, ‘’What was it you called me that day?’’

‘’Dean, you freckled face fuck basket.’’ Sam spoke through a laugh, ‘’Oh god. Don’t remind me!’’

‘’Now that was hilarious!’’ At the time I said it I was totally mortified but the pure look of shock on Dean’s face made me laugh uncontrollably for ten minutes until I was calm enough to apologize.

‘’Or the time you walked into English and told the teacher to fuck off.’’ I groaned that was the day I discovered that I developed coprolalia, the teacher was not impressed in the slightest. I started to finger click again which wasn’t that bad until the feeling got bigger and my muscles seized up coming up over my face.

When I could finally relax my arms were sore and I grimaced. ‘’I don’t know how you deal with all this sweetheart, kudos to you.’’

‘’Well you guys help me deal with it you know? As well as Bobby’’ I spoke quietly, ‘’You don’t judge me for it and you come up with all sorts of ways to help ease the tics. I don’t thank you enough.’’

‘’Come ear, you.’’ I was crushed into Sam’s arms, ‘’Don’t have to thank us for anything because you’re like our little sister and we love you.’’

‘’Damn right and I certainly don’t mind beating up a few people along the way.’’ He winked, that was true there was many separate occasions where Dean had defended me as much as Sam had but as Sam dealt with things using his words, Dean liked to us is fists and I wasn’t complaining it kept the bullies away.

‘’How about we head back and get some Chinese?’’

‘’As long as you get me a fork this time!’’ The last time we ordered Chinese the boys watched as I struggled to eat with the chopsticks because clearly hand tics and chopsticks clearly don’t go well together.

‘’Gotcha covered.’’

I smiled no matter how hard my life became I would always count of my boys to help me get through.


End file.
